Johnnie Moore writes about Buttons pressed? and reminds me of one of my favorite principles of life. Moore:
If a golf ball hits you on the head is the pain in the golf ball or is the pain in you? Of course the pain is in me, you say. It's easy to see that our reactions are not in the difficult people or challenging situations. Our reactions are clearly in us so why not look for solutions where they really are and not where we are unlikely to find them?
Right! The version I'm familiar with goes something like, "Whenever I am disturbed, no matter the cause, there is something wrong with me." The golf ball analogy is less confrontational than this one, but the idea is the same. I am upset? But you wronged me! Yes, but who is the one feeling the pain? Where is the pain? Where is the opportunity for assuaging the pain? Certainly not in someone else.